How to Move On from Past Hurt

If you've had or have difficulties moving on from past hurt, experiences, disappointments, negative occurrences then I'm writing this to you. 

I pray you get the time and patience to really read through cos it would help you like it has helped me .... Some of us have been through pain and hurt and we cannot see ourselves moving on with life anymore. 

Some people came into your life and left, and you don't see yourself filling the gap and accepting reality. 

Some of us have been through breakups and heartbreaks, and we are still stuck in past experiences and hurt. 

Some of us have lost money, business opportunities and have made mistakes. And we still haven't truly forgiven ourselves. 

Some of us have forced ourselves on people to love and accept us, but to no avail. And we still haven't moved on yet. 

Some of us have been abused, hated, criticized, maltreated etc and we don't see ourselves experiencing the true good of life ever again. 

Well, I've been hurt in the past, and that's why I'm writing this. I really found it difficult to move on. 

Each day, I keep remembering things I should have forgotten. I saw myself stuck in my yesterday. Going round circles of painful experiences. Until I came to realize that if I don't move on, I can't get to that next level. 

I'll be sharing with us 4 things that'll help us move on. I want you to say this few words to yourself as we move on, "I've let go of the past, it's no longer mine!". 

1. FORGIVE YOURSELF

This is no.1 because it's the most important thing to do before moving on. 

You have to sincerely forgive yourself. My dear, it's not your fault he/she broke your heart, it's not your fault you missed that opportunity, it's not your fault someone made away with your money, it's not your fault you failed at some point. 

Truth is if you knew better, you would have done better. And if you had the power to change things, you would have done that long time ago. 

Dwelling in past hurt and blaming yourself won't make the difference. I remember loving and caring for someone and expecting same or just the little I could get but it didn't turn out that way. 

"I now hated myself, because someone else didn't love me." Take a look at the irony. But that was me then. 

I had to really consciously forgive myself and I want you to do same too. Have you ever consciously admired yourself in a mirror? Guess what?... Give it a try, you'll realize you have such a cute and innocent face.. Lol Hope this made you smile. 

Please, you don't deserve to dwell in past negative experiences. Forgive yourself.. OK? 

2. FORGIVE THE OTHER PERSON/SITUATION

I know this sounds very difficult. But it's not. God wouldn't have commanded us to forgive if He didn't give us the ability to do so. 

Alot of people don't believe in "Forgive and Forget," but whichever way, don't "Forget to Forgive". 

Let me shock you a bit.. about majority of people who have hurt you probably don't know or remember they did, while some have already moved on. 

And you are still here carrying the load of bitterness and unforgiveness. Forgive yourself and forgive people. 

I don't know your excuse for not forgiving but you have no excuse for carrying grudges within. Please, free yourself. 

You can send a text or put a call across to someone who has hurt you. It's not going to be convenient but through a call or text, ask about the person's welfare, or wish the person a happy weekend, or just something nice. 

It'll help you feel better and takes you a step towards forgiving the person. This usually works for me most times, it can work for you too. 

Forgiving the other person helps you heal faster. Because you are no longer attached to the pain. 

3 TAKE A WALK

If you are serious about moving on, then you should be willing to take a walk. A walk away from the past. 

Some of us are stuck in unfulfilling jobs, toxic relationships, failed businesses, memories of people etc. If something or someone hurts you and you keep dwelling there, you'll keep getting hurt. Very simple. 

Taking a walk means trying something new, breathing fresh air, experiencing a new life. Understand that you are a priority. 

There's no crime in quitting a draining job, or ending a toxic relationship or forgetting a past experience. 

I believe we can make things work. Probably re-strategizing the job, working on the relationship or getting used to the current situation. 

But if these options don't apply, please take a walk. Your mental health is very important. I remember being with someone who didn't give me the care I feel I deserved. I always felt abused and manipulated mentally. 

Mehn!! I had to take a walk. Believe me it wasn't easy And I learnt something from Les Brown.. In one of his podcasts, he taught me not to, "knock on open doors". 

The truth was there were tons of people who were literally dying to have me in their lives, be with me, support and care for me. But I just allowed myself to keep going through unnecessary pain. 

After I learnt this, I started meeting beautiful people who loved me more and were concerned about me. Mehn!!! Don't knock on open doors ever again. 

There's a better job out there, there are bosses and employees out there that'll appreciate your little efforts and make you feel worthy and useful. 

There's a better relationship out there that you'll find peace, love and you'll be accepted the way you are. 

Maybe you are not nagging, your partner doesn't just want your care. Maybe you are not boring, your circle of friends don't just value your vibes. 

Maybe you are not failure, the people you are with, don't just believe in you. Don't you think it's time to move on?? Practically, taking a walk isn't convenient but it's a bold decision. 

You may miss the job pay or salary, you may miss the other person/memories. But leaving that place could introduce you to a bigger and better life. 

Do you have the courage to move on? Take your time to decide. I know its not going to be easy. Feel free to send a message to me so we can take this walk together. And finally... 

4. APPRECIATE THE NEXT LEVEL

After you've taken a walk, appreciate where you are now. Things may not happen very fast but with time it'll get better. I don't believe your happiness or progress is tied to a particular person, even if it does, the person who has constantly abused you has lost that place. 

And I assure you moving on will expose you to a better reality. God is concerned about you. He wants to see you happy and productive for him. 

And I urge you to take the place of God in your life very serious. As you move on, don't leave God behind. And Jesus Christ has made my life meaning, He can do same for you too. So, appreciate this next level. 

This is you stepping into your greatness and better life. And remember the next level is free from unforgiviness and hate. 

It's not very necessary to show off to the other person or group of people that you are better without them and all that. Just keep pushing forward to greater heights. 

By Awe Promise Orie